Well before we get too deep, let’s get on the same page as to the meanings.

Ranting is an angry speech of criticism or accusation. (Tirade is a synonym.)

Raving is to speak or write about someone or something with great enthusiasm or admiration. (You’re very fond of this person.)

Most would prefer to have someone rave about them.

Unfortunately, many find themselves murmuring under their breath or in their head about how terrible their spouse is.

What do you whisper in your head about your spouse?

Is it something you would be excited to share? Or would you be ashamed to share those thoughts?

I must admit, I have thought some not-so-good thoughts. My husband would make me mad and I would complain in my head how he doesn’t care. I do all the work. Why am I always the one who is wrong? He is wrong majority of the time. Who does he think he is?

This is real life! Now understand, this comes from very early on in our marriage. I always thought of myself as “the single, married mother”.

And it was true. But not everything I thought was truth! A lot was blown out of proportion because of my anger.

Our thoughts can distort a situation. It can cause us to react in a way that’s more negative-driven than positive; seeing more of the bad than the good.

At some point, you have to come to realize that neither of you are perfect. Both of you will make mistakes, lots of mistakes.

But ultimately, you have to get off the ranting train and start raving!

The K.I.S.S. ~ Stop ranting and start raving!

The more you focus on tearing down your spouse, the more broken your communication will become, which leads to a marriage in crisis.

However, if you stop ranting and start raving, then you can crush the cycle of negativity and begin to build a stronger foundation with grace, compassion, forgiveness, and unconditional love.

So how do you stop the rant and start the rave?

1. Mute the whispers that your spouse is not good enough.
2. Compliment daily, both verbally and silently.
3. How can I serve you? What can I do for you today?

“When you quiet the rant, the rave explodes exponentially.” ~ Kristianne Wargo

You see more of the good and less of the bad.

REFLECTION: What do you need to quiet in your thinking when it comes to your spouse?

Awareness opens the opportunity for healing and forgiveness.