Now you and I both want to be heard by our spouses. But as you know, if both of you are talking at the same time, what can be heard?

Nothing!

That’s the thing. All that is left is noise, kind of like Charlie Brown’s mother. Wa-waaa-wah-Wa.

If you are going to have a marriage that can survive the treacherous storms, you have to be willing to silence your mouth and open your ears.

The K.I.S.S. ~ Silence your mouth and open your ears!

Women like to talk and men prefer short stories. Both pose a problem in communication.

I can remember nights when my husband would come home, and all I wanted to do was to share with him what happened. And not the short story form; the long-form, every detail spoken twice in two different ways.

But I didn’t get what I really wanted. That became very frustrating for a while. Why didn’t he want to listen to me? I asked him about his day and listened to everything.

Well, to no surprise, women and men communicate differently. Then you add on unique personalities, and you get words tossed at each other that don’t make sense. It’s just a jumble of words.

When you communicate ineffectively, it’s hard to love and serve the one who needs you.

Stop means go, and go means stop.

You don’t want to overthink, get overwhelmed, and then be perplexed because nothing makes sense.

It’s that round and round and round effect that you want to avoid.

What can you do to silence your mouth and open your ears?

1. LISTEN with the intent to understand – This is where you put your spouse first and listen to what he/she has to say. Again, most of us are listening with the intent to reply. That’s not what
2. ASK questions to clarify – This is where your spouse knows and recognizes your intent as you listen.
3. EXPRESS the summary – This is where you get to re-tell what you heard and understand.

And once this is all complete, it makes room for you now to be understood.

It’s your turn!

But be patient. If you are excited about what happened in your day, make sure your spouse is ready to listen. Some people just need more time to decompress.

So ask if your spouse is ready for a story.

Now, this may seem like a long road. However, the more you practice, the greater the progress.

There is a learning curve. So be willing to put in the time, and soon you’ll be chatting on the dime.

“Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!“