What you see is not always what you get. Our children like to be seen and heard, but in the form and fashion that they dream up.

Very few desire them for you to see them in their weakness. And being nervous and anxious to them is a weakness.

Now, this can show up at many different ages and stages. The key is knowing what your child is feeling and hiding before they share it by usually you prodding and getting in their business.

And who wants to be that parent?

Not you or me!

But let’s be real. Growing up in today’s world is challenging. There are so many areas in life that cause stress; family, school, community, church, and neighborhood.

The dynamics can be overwhelming and debilitating to the degree of causing anxiety.

Children experience a wide range of emotions, some of which will include stress. But when you know how to cope with your anxiety or stress or nerves, you and your child can soar.

So when you want to teach your child how to calm the nerves you can’t see, build a coping toolbox.

The K.I.S.S. ~ Build a coping toolbox!

1. BALLOON BREATHING. Have your child pretend they are going to blow up a balloon. Pick a color. Now, slowing blow into the balloon, but not too fast or too slow. Just right is what you want. Count to 5, encouraging them to inhale and then exhale into the balloon. Repeat this three times. When the balloon is inflated, mentally write the problem on the balloon and let it go.
2. BOSS the worries away. This is where your child is empowered by self-talk; learning how to reframe their thoughts.
   • State what the nerves or worry is all about.
   • Why do you think of it this way?
   • Think of something opposite and positive.
   • Boss back (and do so in a mirror if possible)
3. WRITE it down, TEAR it up. Or you can draw it and tear it up. When they write down what makes them anxious and nervous, and then tear it up, your child gets to throw away what is bothering them for a moment. This helps teach your child that you can control your feelings and overcome what you can’t see.

And if all else fails, you can hug it out! Every child needs a hug from their mom.

CHALLENGE: Watch your child and be present so you can see the changes even when your child can’t. It’s getting in front of the feelings before the feelings take over.

CAUTION: You might make a mistake and think it’s one thing when it really is something else. No problem. Live, learn, and move on.

CELEBRATE: As your child experiments with the toolbox, be sure to celebrate the little things.

Just because your child has nerves doesn’t mean you need to. Take a deep breath, write your worry on a balloon, and let it go.

Keep walking in your greatness!

“Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!“