For the majority of couples, this is not the case. You spend less time every year you remain married. However, in order to stay happily married (with work), you need to spend time together.

We have been married now 31 years, been together for 34 1/2 years. That’s a LONG time! But how much of that time has been spent together?

That is really the question that we need to be asking ourselves. Because there is no way you can have a strong foundation in your marriage if you don’t spend time together.

So let’s first look at some reasons why our time together is limited.

The initial excitement and romance may dwindle amidst the responsibilities of life.

A. Busy Schedules: Juggling work commitments, household responsibilities, children’s activities, and social engagements can leave couples with little time for each other. Long work hours and demanding schedules can make it challenging to find moments of togetherness amidst the hustle and bustle of daily life.

B. Technology Distractions: In today’s digital age, constant connectivity through smartphones, tablets, and social media can detract from quality time spent with a partner. As couples get absorbed in their screens, meaningful face-to-face interactions and bonding experiences may be put on the back burner.

C. Different Priorities: Each partner may have their own individual priorities, interests, and goals, which can sometimes lead to conflicting schedules and diverging paths. Balancing personal ambitions with shared time as a couple requires compromise, understanding, and a willingness to prioritize the relationship.

D. Lack of Communication: Poor communication or misaligned expectations can hinder couples from effectively planning and coordinating their time together. Assumptions about each other’s needs and preferences can lead to misunderstandings and missed opportunities for connection.

E. Financial Constraints: Financial pressures and concerns about budgeting can limit the opportunities for couples to engage in activities that require spending money, such as dining out, attending events, or going on vacations. Strained finances can create added stress and barriers to quality time together.

F. Parenting Responsibilities: Raising children adds another layer of complexity to spending time together as a couple. Parenting duties, childcare logistics, and the demands of nurturing a family can consume much of parents’ time and energy, leaving little room for romantic or leisure activities.

G. Relationship Struggles: Underlying issues within the relationship, such as unresolved conflicts, emotional distance, or lack of intimacy, can make it challenging for couples to prioritize spending time together. Relationship discord can create barriers to fostering connection and closeness.

H. External Pressures: External stressors such as job insecurity, health concerns, family dynamics, or societal expectations can impact couples’ ability to focus on their relationship and make time for shared experiences. These outside pressures can overshadow the importance of nurturing the marital bond.

Navigating these challenges requires compassion, communication, and a mutual commitment to overcoming obstacles as a team. By acknowledging the various factors that can impede quality time together, couples can proactively address these issues and strengthen their relationship bonds.

The K.I.S.S. ~ Just do it!

In the midst of the chaos, how can spouses hold true to their promise of spending meaningful time together?

1. Prioritize Chats: Effective communication is key to navigating the complexities of marriage.

Psychologist Dr. John Gottman once said, “Staying connected and feeling close is important for marital satisfaction.”

Regularly check in with your spouse about your schedules, feelings, and needs. Make time for open and honest conversations to ensure that you are on the same page about your priorities and commitments.

2. Schedule Quality Time: Life can get busy, but it is essential to carve out dedicated time for each other.

Relationship expert Esther Perel emphasizes the importance of quality over quantity, stating, “It’s not the amount of time spent together, but the quality of the interactions that truly matters.”

Plan date nights, weekend getaways, or simple activities like cooking together or taking a walk in the park. By intentionally setting aside time for each other, you can nurture your connection and strengthen your bond.

3. Show Appreciation and Affection: Small gestures of love and appreciation can go a long way in reaffirming your commitment to each other.

“In the busyness of life, don’t forget to pause and show gratitude for your partner.” ~ Kristianne Wargo

Express your love through kind words, thoughtful gestures, and physical touch. Acts of kindness and affection can reignite the spark in your relationship and remind your spouse that they are cherished.

In the midst of life’s challenges, staying true to your promise of spending time together requires effort, intentionality, and a genuine commitment to nurturing your relationship. By prioritizing communication, scheduling quality time, and showing appreciation and affection, you can strengthen your bond and weather any storm that comes your way.

Remember, marriage is a journey that requires both partners to actively invest in each other’s happiness and well-being.

“Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!“